The Zombie Apocalypse Thread

[originaljulz]

TBH if you're busy fighting zombies in the zombie apocalypse ur doin it wrong. Best survival strategy? Gtfo.

I guess in the blunt force trauma vs bladed weapon debate, I will always support the option which uses less energy. (The blade's natural advantage over bludgeons.)

The zombie's one and only advantage over a human being is it's tirelessness and unrelenting attacks/endurance etc.

Have you ever tried swinging a baseball bat at full force, for more than a few hits at a time? You'll get tired reeeeally quickly, and that will only make the zombies one advantage over you even bigger.

[[NIUE] weazzyefff]

If it's weapons. I would rock two machete's on my back as i have them at home and it's not a bullshit weapon i'll rambo outta my ass. Also you need two as recovery time inbetween slashes is a huge downfall as weapons were rated on the national geographic top cqc weapons.

The katan sword is the most leathal and will cut their heads off like butter, but someone will kill you for it. As would I. It is the top weapon according to national geographic studies as you's probaly already know.

I would find a gang to hang with. Preferably a bunch of hot scared chicks. We would walk around pretending to be zombies. I would tell them there is no one else alive and we need to reproduce as soon as possible.

I would bring my mum as she will need to do all the cooking and shit.

We would meet at Unitec bar and discuss the next step over a few shots and shit. My mum will wait in the car. Don't want her embarassing the new gang leader.

I would probably wear my tight jeans with soccer chin guards taped around front and back of arms and legs. There pretty damn light and easy to get round with. Don't know about torsoo though??? Where would you get some real armour style shit? Also rock a mean long scarf that goes around me like shinobi and stryder instead of gay sars mask.

I would need to be blind for gdlk reflexes like book of eli guy. But i won't wear glasses cos those eyes look cool, and def suit the war torn situation. Also maybe rock a scar down my cheak for 'don't fuck with me' effect.

Transport will be ninja hoping around with my gang of highly trained sexy ninja girls.

I would also hape huge steak knives tied around a rope which is tied around my arms for god of war type combo's. I will try not to accidentally kill one of my girls. But no promises as i wil be wild combo master.

I think Lenny would suit as my partner in this as the smart experienced war torn wize man. Also he would suit a huge fucken sledge hammer as he could probably wield that shit around with ease. And you WILL get tired with the bat. Either that or a huge fucken scythe but we can't find that either so hmmm.

More planning to come.

[fluxcore]

I would bring my mum as she will need to do all the cooking and shit.

rofl!! top tier strat!

[originaljulz]

If it's weapons. I would rock two machete's on my back as i have them at home and it's not a bullshit weapon i'll rambo outta my ass. Also you need two as recovery time inbetween slashes is a huge downfall as weapons were rated on the national geographic top cqc weapons.

The katan sword is the most leathal and will cut their heads off like butter, but someone will kill you for it. As would I. It is the top weapon according to national geographic studies as you's probaly already know.

I would find a gang to hang with. Preferably a bunch of hot scared chicks. We would walk around pretending to be zombies. I would tell them there is no one else alive and we need to reproduce as soon as possible.

I would bring my mum as she will need to do all the cooking and shit.

We would meet at Unitec bar and discuss the next step over a few shots and shit. My mum will wait in the car. Don't want her embarassing the new gang leader.

I would probably wear my tight jeans with soccer chin guards taped around front and back of arms and legs. There pretty damn light and easy to get round with. Don't know about torsoo though??? Where would you get some real armour style shit? Also rock a mean long scarf that goes around me like shinobi and stryder instead of gay sars mask.

I would need to be blind for gdlk reflexes like book of eli guy. But i won't wear glasses cos those eyes look cool, and def suit the war torn situation. Also maybe rock a scar down my cheak for 'don't fuck with me' effect.

Transport will be ninja hoping around with my gang of highly trained sexy ninja girls.

I would also hape huge steak knives tied around a rope which is tied around my arms for god of war type combo's. I will try not to accidentally kill one of my girls. But no promises as i wil be wild combo master.

I think Lenny would suit as my partner in this as the smart experienced war torn wize man. Also he would suit a huge fucken sledge hammer as he could probably wield that shit around with ease. And you WILL get tired with the bat. Either that or a huge fucken scythe but we can't find that either so hmmm.

More planning to come.

Zombie fucking master

[samurai black]

best post so far weazzy. packed with protips

if you really wanted to, i guess you could use motocross body armour and shit. but stores selling that kinda stuff like that aint exactly dime a dozen, so hmm :/

[Lennysaurus]

Fuck can't believe I forgot to mention this, but I'd prolly get a wooden bat and put a couple of nails through it.  Smash a zombie over the head hard enough to put the nail in the skull and you're golden I reckon.

Have you ever tried swinging a baseball bat at full force, for more than a few hits at a time? You'll get tired reeeeally quickly, and that will only make the zombies one advantage over you even bigger.

I don't think you can really make that argument stick, cause in the same vein have you ever tried loping off somethings head with a machete?

I guess it all depends on the person too.  I'm a pretty big guy so I reckon I could swing a bat into a fair few zombies heads with no worries.  But I wouldn't be darting around them doing ninja kicks and shit.

lol Weazzey, if I saw a dude with a katana sword, and he knew how to use it, I would stay the fuck away from them let alone try and tax their sword.  But if ZA hits I'd definitely roll with the Weazzel and help repopulate the earth by smanging the hot survivors.

[originaljulz]

I'm a pretty big guy so I reckon I could swing a bat into a fair few zombies heads with no worries.  But I wouldn't be darting around them doing ninja kicks and shit.

Lol Rufus.

And yeah, when I used to work at PnS in produce, we used to get up to shit out back. One time we were smashing watermelons, and it was a lot easier to use the large vegetable knife/mini machete to fuck up the water melons than use the random massive lead pipe that we had. I got tired after like 5 melons with the pipe, but with the knife I felt like I could have kept going all night. Just gotta make sure its sharp.

[samurai black]

watermelon  =/= zombie

shouldve been chopping pumpkins bro, like i did at new world

anyway, theres bone and shit to contend with. i think brute force with a blunt object is thew way to go, instead of dancing around with a bladed weapon and trying to get a clean cut.

and nail bat is cool, but i think itd get stuck in something if you miss. id put it up there with flaming baseball bat. awesome sounding but maybe not as useful as first thought.

[[NIUE] weazzyefff]

Fuck can't believe I forgot to mention this, but I'd prolly get a wooden bat and put a couple of nails through it.  Smash a zombie over the head hard enough to put the nail in the skull and you're golden I reckon.

LOL that definitely would get stuck in them as i was going to mention this. But thought you had already come to the conclusion. It even happens in dead rising 2.

Man i'm so sure that a machete would work wonders. A bat would be just as good. And when shit hits the fan, we'll just ditch whatever the shit weapon is *cough*bat*cough*.

Even if it doesn't straight decapitate. The head will be hanging off by a limb. i suppose he can still walk towards you and shit. But the brain aint gona be able to operate his jaws to move. I just reckon if there's a huge horde of them you will end up getting overpowered with bat sooner than you think. But with dual machete diezal power! Heyyall noo! Slicinng through them quicker than they can spawn.

I think the axe be too small in range. And is risky getting that close. The bigg ones would be good but they're a bit heavy ay.

When i used to work at treescape there was this thing called a pole saw. It was a huge pole with a saw at the end. That would be a beast as fuck weapon. But it run on diezal (not my bourbino diezal).

Like the idea of living on the coast. With a phat boat on standy for getaways. We could just live on the boat bro. Zombies can't swim ay? And you can't get on without the lader. They'll just be clawing at the hull like retards, just like that movie with that dumb couple who forget to put the ladder down accidently fucking themselves over haha. I think a shark ate one of them after a couple days or something haha. fuck that some funny shit.

[[NIUE] BIRRY WONG]

Realistically, i think im fucked in a ZA. The best thing i can do is buy myself enough time to plan my last stand. The way i see it, practicality if for pussies. I dont care if it takes me hours to build, and fucking ages to start up, (The weazals God of War combos will buy me all the time i need) if i get to use a chainsaw paddle for 5 minutes, and then get gored to death by zombies, i will die a happy BIRRY WONG.

Pictured: A happy BIRRY WONG. (Note that im frowning in this pic. Thats because in NIUE, we're happiest when we're angry.)

[electric]

All I need is a Vortex Mega Howler...

They don't call them death throws for nothing.

[fluxcore]

throes...

[electric]

throes...

Throws - a throw which causes death. Hence the mega howler. It's a South Auckland thing

[[NIUE] weazzyefff]

Another thing lenny forgot to add is stragglers.

DON'T FUCK WITH STRAGGLERS!!!

They will get you killed. They will be annoying and if it's a hot chick, they usually carry around a kid (random zombie flick, 1972 - 2010). Oh heeeyyyllll noooo. And if it's a guy you think will be an asset to the gang. He will end up getting greedy and do something stupid (every zombie horror movie, 1964 - 2010).

That deadrising weapon is so bullshit. Do you have any idea how fucking heavy that shit would be!?! Not even the great birry wong would last 5 minutes wielding such an implausible weapon.

[stereomonkey]

[Useless fact]
Danny Trejo is Machete.  Machetes are good for killing zombies. Raul the Ghoul is (basically) a zombie in Fallout New Vegas who is voiced by Danny Trejo.

Danny Trejo, simply awesome
[/Useless fact]