Okay people. This is a game my friends and I have been playing for years. At any given time or place, one of us will say "Zombie Apocalypse right here, right now!" and we proceed to kill the next hour talking about how we would handle an onslaught of Zombies at our present venue.
Over the years we have developed what we think are important things to consider in the event of Zombie Apocalypse in New Zealand, so I thought I would start a thread to talk about it here.
A friend of mine and I have even considered starting a blog about it, cause we have literally thought about it alot.
An interesting debate we have is around weapons. Traditional zombie folklore tells us that to stop a zombie you need to destroy the brain. Obviously guns are pretty hard to come by here in NZ so we are restricted to what we can get out and about.
I think a great combo is softball bat, machete, and Kindling axe. Pretty easy to carry around with you and not weighing much. Require little to no training how to use, and pretty easy to get your hands on.
Couple of my friends however think that a sword would be the best bet as they feel that a softball bat will not destroy the brain, and that the sword offers better range, and the ability to lop off limbs. I disagree and think that they underestimate the amount of skill that it takes to weild a weapon like that effectively. I also that that you run the risk of getting a sword stuck in a zombies head/neck/guts thuis rendering you unarmed. Also, where the fuck do you get a sword from? People don't leave them lying around the fucking house. Especially a decent one as opposed to a shitty knock off you got from Vic Park markets.
Discuss!
yeah, i like the machete instead of a sword. any cheapo sword you can get ahold of now prob only for display. softball bat imo is a solid pick, but you reckon wooden or aluminium?
i might go the leon kennedy route, armed with only a knife, gun and 10 bullets hahaha. when the zombie gets close i can just knife it a few times then SUPLEX like a fucking boss :D
I don't think that it matters what sort of softball bat it is too much TBH. Another important item is a freaking sharpening stone. To sharpen your Axe/machete/sword/etc.
I think the other advantage of a machete is that you cant use it for shitloads of other stuff. cutting brush, and even chopping wood.
Anyone considered clothing? I personally think that a good pair of jeans, and a decent pair of boots are essential. If you can get some army style boots even better. One thing I would do is sew something to the bottom of my jeans so that they tuck into the top of my boot, and can't be pulled out unless I take my shoe off. This helps with the cliche zombie movie scenario where someone is leaning next to a car, or is near a bush and a zombie that is crawling along the ground bites their ankle. Its pretty hard to bite through leather boots or denim jeans. Hell if you can get leather pants even better I reckon. Decent once again leather/denim jacket and a hat.
Another useful addition would be a face mask. Something that a panelbeater or spray painter wears that you can get several of pretty easily and just pop them on when entering combat. Splash of zombie blood in the mouth could = GGPO for you.
I live in a zombie safe apparement which can also be barricaded at a number of points, with a large open roof which could be used to collect rain water.
4 Square not too far away, could hopefully get to it across awnings and break in for food and pepsi/beer.
Haven't got the weapons sussed as of yet... I have heaps of records but Shawn of the Dead proved this as totally ineffective.
Maybe table legs as baseball bats/makeshift axes? Though the thin corridors in my building wouldn't allow me to swing, perhaps I need a long spear device instead.
Fucking sweet as game Lenny. cant wait to bust it out in weird situations
I would try and go for stripped down riot police gear if possible. They had a pretty sweet getup at the army surplus store on krd.
but generally I would just like my forearms,shins and head covered, so you're still quite mobile
A big factor is what kind of zombies they are, if its the 28 days later kind: Fuck that, I'd drown myself in my bath.
If its the slow mushy retarted kind: all good I'm down for it.
Very good point about the availability of weapons, most people start planning with Katanas and dual barettas, but we really dont have that shit.
I reckon 2 aluminium baseball bats and a fuckoff machette on the back would work well.
Maybe a sledgehammer, but its a bit slow.
maybe even go Dead rising 2 and make some fusion weapons
Quote from: WoundLenny on November 03, 2010, 06:09:41 PM
Hell if you can get leather pants even better I reckon.
gotta look good when the zombie apocalypse happens
Could be interesting. But how long would you be able to barricade yourself in for? Eventually you'd have to make a run for it and get out of the city.
Living in an apartment makes it tough, since you dont have access to the regular gardening equipment/etc that most houses do. I like the idea of using chair legs as makeshift bludgeoning items.
I think one advantage we have in New Zealand is how close we all are to the ocean. I would definitely be thinking about settling down somewhere coastal, with an emergency boat ready to go at all times.
So where would you guys go? Would you go Bush? Would you find a house and get your squat on? One thing we discussed is that we would likely go to at least a rural area and find a 2 story house. We would prep it up by basically moving everything into the upstairs portion of the house, and tear apart any stairs that lead to the second floor. Only access to it would be via ladders that we could pull back up the top if need be. I think though that it would be important to get away from any major citys or towns.
I'd take it like a man.
Also regarding my last post, I dont think it is a good idea to stay in one place for any amount of extended time, and that you should ALWAYS have several escape options ready to go. Having a horde of thousands of Zombies encircling your little abode caould suck major nuts, so keep moving so they don't find you imo.
Yah Army surplus stores and gun stores would probably be great places to get to, if you can get in there early before the other looters beat you too it. Unfortunately they tend to be in highly populated areas so there is risk involved.
Yah I definitely think that the different types of zombies would make a difference. I think you would get far smaller groups of the mobile kind, but youd be likely to run into fucking gigantic groups of the slow kind. I don't think that they would be super slow though. I reckon they'd hum along at a regular walking pace. And cause they don't zip around at full sprint all the time that they would tend to clump together.
actually, i think i like a cricket bat more than a softball bat. larger striking face and a blunt edge to for funsies
Weapon would be a katana/machete. Katana would be the preference but doubt you would be able to find them and also a sharping tool to keep it nice for slicing.
A thick leather Jacket and jeans with leather chaps would be what I would wear. Leather being good for protection against bites, but wont weight you down like other clothing choices most would select. Maybe a MC helmet for head protection but that would get annoying and tiresome to have it on while walking around. Good pair of steal cap hiking boots would be great too.
Carry a satchel or gym bag around at all times, never know what you could find that would help you later on.
Hope someone finds a sword in walking dead :D
Some Awesome Zombie Movie Cliche situations to avoid:
"Let's split up, we'll cover more ground that way"
Aw hell no. Why do you need to cover ground faster to get out of there? Got an appointment you might miss in the middle of ZA? I think not. Also, the chance of being eaten and killed far outweighs the need for supplies imo. Strength in numbers at all times I reckon.
"I think we can trust them. Let's tag along with that group"
Don't trust anyone. I think most people don't realise that when ZA happens, every man, woman, and child will have been exposed to alot of death. This is gonna change people no matter what. And in an environment where people are surviving to protect in many cases the few loved ones they have left in the world, people will do crazy shit. Don't hang around people that you don't know, or that someone you are rolling with can't vouch for. Other awesome stuff that falls into this category include "We can't just leave them there, we have to help them!" and "But look, they seem to have plenty. I'm sure they could spare us something". Futher to this. I think that any more than 6 people in a group is too much. Anymore than that and you run into the problems of finding enough food and water, and unnecesary power struggles. However in that vain, you want to have at least 4 people. 3 People standing back to back can keep watch in a 360 degree radius while the last member gathers or completes tasks, and 4 people provide the optimum rotation to ensure that people get enough sleep at night while 1 keeps watch.
"We need food!!! I haven't eaten in 2 days!!!"
Alot of people don't realise this, but your average healthy human being can survive without food for 3 to 4 weeks, and maybe half that in rugged survival situations. People that don't know this are likely to do a couple of things:
-Take unnecessary risks in order to obtain food
-Over ration what food is available to them.
It is important to consider what sort of ideal food you want to be eating as well. Carb loading and some sugar at first till you get where you need to go. Once you can establish a safe time/area to forage then you can worry about your complex dietary requirements. In all honesty if ZA hits, your priorities should be in this order: Weapons, Water, People, Transport, Shelter, and then Food.
"Hold up dude, I just gotta duck behind that car to take a piss"
Get used to pissing and shitting in full view of your group. Zombies love hiding in bushes, under cars, and in all sorts of other great spots out of view of your travelling companions. I don't mind dudes seeing my wang while I pave a liquid yellow brick road in the dirt if it means having them make sure I don't end up Zombie Chow. Also fitting under this category is sneaking off with your partner for private relations. Put a show on for the boys, or don't bother at all imo.
"We can totally all fit in my van!!!"
This is one that always gets me. Imagine absolute chaos in every city and town of NZ as rabid zombies run about munching on people. Everyone and their mother jumps in a car and starts careering down the motorway/highway trying to get away from the zombies. Unfortunately mass panic and motor vehicles are gonna result in pretty clogged up roads. Unless you have access to some sort of decent four wheel drive (and no I do not mean your mum and dad's poxy Land Rover or Rav4) or off road bike, the I would stay completely away from vehicles. Roads are too close to well populated areas anyway. Mountain bikes are a great alternative. In New Zealand your best bet is to get to the ocean, and use any sort of boat you can get your hands on to travel up and down the coastline if you need to get places. Aluminum dinghys are your friend. They can be maneuvered all the way into a beach and dragged up onto the shore and pushed back into the water if need be in a hurry. Get one with a little outboard on it and you are set. Also useful to drag onto the shore and tip over to create a makeshift shelter as well.
Also, don't think that you can plow through zombies with wanton abandon in your Mazda 323. There is a reason why we don't fly over speed bumps at 80kmh, so just think of plowing into a horde of zombies at that speed as driving over a ton of speed bumps at the same spped. You'll crash, and if that didn't kill you, the zombies probably will.
I have way more, but can't be stuffed typing them all out. I seriously give this shit way too much thought.
True that!
Holy shit thread of my dreams. Also, you can never think too much about this Lenny. The Zombie Apocalypse is coming. It's INEVITABLE.
But yeah me and my friends play this game too. Though admittedly I do this kinda shit a lot more than them. I always scan my surroundings for escape routes and possible weapons constantly, wherever I am lol. I'm not even kidding. I might actually be crazy.
But anyway, on the subject of baseball bats. They're heavy, and smashing a brain through blunt force trauma means you'll get tired quickly, and you won't always kill it in one blow. Remember; yes a zombie is dead and rotting and all that shit, but it's still a human body, and the human head is stronger than you'd think. Aluminium bats are weak as hell. They're k for hitting baseballs, but after 2 hits to a human head, and that shits getting dented beyond recognition. Eventually it'll break on you. Wood is better, but not by much. I personally say that a katana is the best zombie killing weapon. It wasn't designed for cutting through armour and what not like anglo broadswords etc, instead designed to be the 'perfect weapon' for dealing damage and slicing through the human body with ease. Like you've said though, where the fuck would you get a proper traditional katana in New Zealand, and this is of course ignoring the fact that a sword does take training to wield properly.
The next best weapon, and prob the best 'everyman' weapon is def the machete. Bladed weapon over blunt any day for the decap. Head poses a threat still, but you can dispose of that easily, or ignore depending on the situation. You'll prob try to be on the move anyway, and not staying in one spot, fighting off a horde of zombies.
As for clothes. Lets assume that zombies will be the traditional shuffler type zombie. It's kinda more realistic than the 28 days 'British running zombie.'
Armour and heavy clothes will just weigh you down and get you tired. You'll always be wanting to be on the move. Light, tight clothes which are difficult to get a grip on. No straps and unnecessary pockets etc that you could be grappled with.
God I could go on and on.
As for fortifying and where I'd go etc, I'd want to get to a nice rural wops place, since this NZ and low population to land mass is a really good thing. Alternatively, from working at Pak'N Save in Henderson, I've concluded it is a VERY good supermarket to fortify. Most supermarkets are bad, since they're designed with big glass windows designed to entice you in. But that PnS is built like a fucking fort. No windows, all access points are decent, and easily barricaded. On a few fire doors, which could be blocked with one stack of pallets and the two roller doors at the back are strong. Only weak spot is the front, and even then it's better than most supermarkets. If you know the store I'm talking about, you could fill the Lotto section with like, 3 pallets, and the exit door with 1 stack of pallets, and the front line of windows with a row of about 6 stacks of pallets. Front entrance fortified and sorted. Enough food in there to last you years. Zombie fort sorted. Also close to the hunting store in Henderson. Could loot some hunting rifles before you get in there.
Honestly, I think going for the decap is not the way to go. Youd have a better chance of smashing a zombies skull in with a bat than loping its head off. If you dont get a clean decap on the zombie you can pretty much kiss your machete goodbye as it'll be stuck in the zombies neck/shoulder.
Also you have to consider that if a zombie is coming for you it'll have its hands up to reach out for you, which in some cases is a natural guard against trying to lop its head off as well. A good 2 handed overhand trike with the bat will certainly smash brains imo, provided you are aiming for the front-top part of the head, if you are slightly off, at least you don't run the risk of losing the bat.
The one handed kindling axe is great though, nice and close and bam! Stick it right into the zombies head, peircing the skull and hitting the brain. It is likely that you'll lose the axe if you don't have time to wrench it back out, but in a tight spot could be really useful. Other similar weapons for this I guess are hammers, and crowbars.
TBH if you're busy fighting zombies in the zombie apocalypse ur doin it wrong. Best survival strategy? Gtfo.
I guess in the blunt force trauma vs bladed weapon debate, I will always support the option which uses less energy. (The blade's natural advantage over bludgeons.)
The zombie's one and only advantage over a human being is it's tirelessness and unrelenting attacks/endurance etc.
Have you ever tried swinging a baseball bat at full force, for more than a few hits at a time? You'll get tired reeeeally quickly, and that will only make the zombies one advantage over you even bigger.
If it's weapons. I would rock two machete's on my back as i have them at home and it's not a bullshit weapon i'll rambo outta my ass. Also you need two as recovery time inbetween slashes is a huge downfall as weapons were rated on the national geographic top cqc weapons.
The katan sword is the most leathal and will cut their heads off like butter, but someone will kill you for it. As would I. It is the top weapon according to national geographic studies as you's probaly already know.
I would find a gang to hang with. Preferably a bunch of hot scared chicks. We would walk around pretending to be zombies. I would tell them there is no one else alive and we need to reproduce as soon as possible.
I would bring my mum as she will need to do all the cooking and shit.
We would meet at Unitec bar and discuss the next step over a few shots and shit. My mum will wait in the car. Don't want her embarassing the new gang leader.
I would probably wear my tight jeans with soccer chin guards taped around front and back of arms and legs. There pretty damn light and easy to get round with. Don't know about torsoo though??? Where would you get some real armour style shit? Also rock a mean long scarf that goes around me like shinobi and stryder instead of gay sars mask.
I would need to be blind for gdlk reflexes like book of eli guy. But i won't wear glasses cos those eyes look cool, and def suit the war torn situation. Also maybe rock a scar down my cheak for 'don't fuck with me' effect.
Transport will be ninja hoping around with my gang of highly trained sexy ninja girls.
I would also hape huge steak knives tied around a rope which is tied around my arms for god of war type combo's. I will try not to accidentally kill one of my girls. But no promises as i wil be wild combo master.
I think Lenny would suit as my partner in this as the smart experienced war torn wize man. Also he would suit a huge fucken sledge hammer as he could probably wield that shit around with ease. And you WILL get tired with the bat. Either that or a huge fucken scythe but we can't find that either so hmmm.
More planning to come.
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 03, 2010, 10:03:46 PM
I would bring my mum as she will need to do all the cooking and shit.
rofl!! top tier strat!
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 03, 2010, 10:03:46 PM
If it's weapons. I would rock two machete's on my back as i have them at home and it's not a bullshit weapon i'll rambo outta my ass. Also you need two as recovery time inbetween slashes is a huge downfall as weapons were rated on the national geographic top cqc weapons.
The katan sword is the most leathal and will cut their heads off like butter, but someone will kill you for it. As would I. It is the top weapon according to national geographic studies as you's probaly already know.
I would find a gang to hang with. Preferably a bunch of hot scared chicks. We would walk around pretending to be zombies. I would tell them there is no one else alive and we need to reproduce as soon as possible.
I would bring my mum as she will need to do all the cooking and shit.
We would meet at Unitec bar and discuss the next step over a few shots and shit. My mum will wait in the car. Don't want her embarassing the new gang leader.
I would probably wear my tight jeans with soccer chin guards taped around front and back of arms and legs. There pretty damn light and easy to get round with. Don't know about torsoo though??? Where would you get some real armour style shit? Also rock a mean long scarf that goes around me like shinobi and stryder instead of gay sars mask.
I would need to be blind for gdlk reflexes like book of eli guy. But i won't wear glasses cos those eyes look cool, and def suit the war torn situation. Also maybe rock a scar down my cheak for 'don't fuck with me' effect.
Transport will be ninja hoping around with my gang of highly trained sexy ninja girls.
I would also hape huge steak knives tied around a rope which is tied around my arms for god of war type combo's. I will try not to accidentally kill one of my girls. But no promises as i wil be wild combo master.
I think Lenny would suit as my partner in this as the smart experienced war torn wize man. Also he would suit a huge fucken sledge hammer as he could probably wield that shit around with ease. And you WILL get tired with the bat. Either that or a huge fucken scythe but we can't find that either so hmmm.
More planning to come.
Zombie fucking master
best post so far weazzy. packed with protips :D
if you really wanted to, i guess you could use motocross body armour and shit. but stores selling that kinda stuff like that aint exactly dime a dozen, so hmm :/
Fuck can't believe I forgot to mention this, but I'd prolly get a wooden bat and put a couple of nails through it. Smash a zombie over the head hard enough to put the nail in the skull and you're golden I reckon.
Quote from: originaljulz on November 03, 2010, 09:28:35 PM
Have you ever tried swinging a baseball bat at full force, for more than a few hits at a time? You'll get tired reeeeally quickly, and that will only make the zombies one advantage over you even bigger.
I don't think you can really make that argument stick, cause in the same vein have you ever tried loping off somethings head with a machete?
I guess it all depends on the person too. I'm a pretty big guy so I reckon I could swing a bat into a fair few zombies heads with no worries. But I wouldn't be darting around them doing ninja kicks and shit.
lol Weazzey, if I saw a dude with a katana sword, and he knew how to use it, I would stay the fuck away from them let alone try and tax their sword. But if ZA hits I'd definitely roll with the Weazzel and help repopulate the earth by smanging the hot survivors.
Quote from: WoundLenny on November 03, 2010, 10:55:28 PM
I'm a pretty big guy so I reckon I could swing a bat into a fair few zombies heads with no worries. But I wouldn't be darting around them doing ninja kicks and shit.
Lol Rufus.
And yeah, when I used to work at PnS in produce, we used to get up to shit out back. One time we were smashing watermelons, and it was a lot easier to use the large vegetable knife/mini machete to fuck up the water melons than use the random massive lead pipe that we had. I got tired after like 5 melons with the pipe, but with the knife I felt like I could have kept going all night. Just gotta make sure its sharp.
watermelon =/= zombie
shouldve been chopping pumpkins bro, like i did at new world :P
anyway, theres bone and shit to contend with. i think brute force with a blunt object is thew way to go, instead of dancing around with a bladed weapon and trying to get a clean cut.
and nail bat is cool, but i think itd get stuck in something if you miss. id put it up there with flaming baseball bat. awesome sounding but maybe not as useful as first thought.
Quote from: WoundLenny on November 03, 2010, 10:55:28 PM
Fuck can't believe I forgot to mention this, but I'd prolly get a wooden bat and put a couple of nails through it. Smash a zombie over the head hard enough to put the nail in the skull and you're golden I reckon.
LOL that definitely would get stuck in them as i was going to mention this. But thought you had already come to the conclusion. It even happens in dead rising 2.
Man i'm so sure that a machete would work wonders. A bat would be just as good. And when shit hits the fan, we'll just ditch whatever the shit weapon is *cough*bat*cough*.
Even if it doesn't straight decapitate. The head will be hanging off by a limb. i suppose he can still walk towards you and shit. But the brain aint gona be able to operate his jaws to move. I just reckon if there's a huge horde of them you will end up getting overpowered with bat sooner than you think. But with dual machete diezal power! Heyyall noo! Slicinng through them quicker than they can spawn.
I think the axe be too small in range. And is risky getting that close. The bigg ones would be good but they're a bit heavy ay.
When i used to work at treescape there was this thing called a pole saw. It was a huge pole with a saw at the end. That would be a beast as fuck weapon. But it run on diezal (not my bourbino diezal).
Like the idea of living on the coast. With a phat boat on standy for getaways. We could just live on the boat bro. Zombies can't swim ay? And you can't get on without the lader. They'll just be clawing at the hull like retards, just like that movie with that dumb couple who forget to put the ladder down accidently fucking themselves over haha. I think a shark ate one of them after a couple days or something haha. fuck that some funny shit.
Realistically, i think im fucked in a ZA. The best thing i can do is buy myself enough time to plan my last stand. The way i see it, practicality if for pussies. I dont care if it takes me hours to build, and fucking ages to start up, (The weazals God of War combos will buy me all the time i need) if i get to use a chainsaw paddle for 5 minutes, and then get gored to death by zombies, i will die a happy BIRRY WONG.
Pictured: A happy BIRRY WONG. (Note that im frowning in this pic. Thats because in NIUE, we're happiest when we're angry.)
(http://mmomfg.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Chainsaw-paddle.jpg)
All I need is a Vortex Mega Howler...
They don't call them death throws for nothing.
throes...
Quote from: fluxcore on November 04, 2010, 09:13:07 AM
throes...
Throws - a throw which causes death. Hence the mega howler. It's a South Auckland thing
Another thing lenny forgot to add is stragglers.
DON'T FUCK WITH STRAGGLERS!!!
They will get you killed. They will be annoying and if it's a hot chick, they usually carry around a kid (random zombie flick, 1972 - 2010). Oh heeeyyyllll noooo. And if it's a guy you think will be an asset to the gang. He will end up getting greedy and do something stupid (every zombie horror movie, 1964 - 2010).
That deadrising weapon is so bullshit. Do you have any idea how fucking heavy that shit would be!?! Not even the great birry wong would last 5 minutes wielding such an implausible weapon.
[Useless fact]
Danny Trejo is Machete. Machetes are good for killing zombies. Raul the Ghoul is (basically) a zombie in Fallout New Vegas who is voiced by Danny Trejo.
Danny Trejo, simply awesome
[/Useless fact]
best friend tabitha
useless fact #2
Ice -t sings a song called cop killer. Ice - t then becomes an actor and plays the part of a cop.
exam rooms are not good places to be if a zombie apocalypse occurs. I took 4 pencils, figured if I pushed hard enough I could kill their brains through the eye socket, making enough way to run out. After that I'd make my way to lennys ultimate zombie killing hide out.
Where you would be used as a zombie sacrifice! Muhuhahahaa!
LMFAO!
Nah jak he can run our brackets for our zomby killing tournaments.
Also i'm the one with the boat. Suit yourself.
I really think some of you are underestimating the difficulty of bashing and hacking a human head
I think you would be lucky to take down 5 zombies before you were starting to struggle. Not having had a chance to test it but my weapon of choice would be a sharp as hedge trimming type of tool (big scissors) hopefully to get a one snip kill with little effort.
I also think moving constantly is not necessary if you can get a place locked down or more ideally a place with no good access points such as a ladder as the only way in (or any climbing type of way in since i dont think zombies have any sort of coordination). The main issue would end up being supplies if you could get enough to last 6 months would all the zombies die from starvation?
Quote from: Barnstorm on November 05, 2010, 12:27:08 AM
I really think some of you are underestimating the difficulty of bashing and hacking a human head
I think you would be lucky to take down 5 zombies before you were starting to struggle. Not having had a chance to test it but my weapon of choice would be a sharp as hedge trimming type of tool (big scissors) hopefully to get a one snip kill with little effort.
I also think moving constantly is not necessary if you can get a place locked down or more ideally a place with no good access points such as a ladder as the only way in (or any climbing type of way in since i dont think zombies have any sort of coordination). The main issue would end up being supplies if you could get enough to last 6 months would all the zombies die from starvation?
I can't tell if you're kidding or if you're serious about using hedge trimmers lol. I have enough trouble cutting through big twig things/ small branches sometimes. That's when the machete comes out. Can't see a problem with a sharpened, well maintained machete unless you have no upper body strength or coordination and get it lodged in the zombies torso some how.
Moving constantly is pretty effective in the early stages of a low level zombie outbreak. Getting up to the first story of a building and smashing the staircase like Lenny said is a really good option. But you also can't forget about the psychological effects of the constant 24/7 zombie moaning around you and whoevers with you. If you're not mentally strong enough to deal with it, somebody in your group might, and that might lead to stuff like, going crazy and killing people, going crazy and somehow compromising your fort, or people just shutting down and giving up on the will to live.
I don't think zombies die of starvation, as there wouldn't be any physical need for them to eat at all. You'd have to wait for their bodies to literally rot away. Which depending on where you are, could take something like a few months to few years. Places with constant snow would prob have to deal with zombies freezing in the winter, then annual attacks every summer for ever, until they're all killed.
lol dual machetes, sledgehammers reminded me of that wu tang beat em up from the ps1(mean game)
Got a couple of machetes and axes in the tool shed(got hedge clippers as well probably not useful but maybe separating them would make some wicked weapons). Still got a couple of softball bats from when i use to play softball.
Heading to the coast isn't difficult since i live in Auckland. I live out west but ill probably head to the beaches along the Waitemata Harbour since they're less wild. My old man has got a dingy, problem is transporting it(guess we'll jus nick a trailer from a gas station lol)
Swords and Katanas? I'll pass mainly cause i cant wield them. Besides your likely to find a Taiaha than swords and katanas. Actually if you could wield a Taiaha properly that would be mean in ZA. Shit maybe all we need is a mean as Haka.
Quote from: originaljulz on November 05, 2010, 01:23:41 AM
I can't tell if you're kidding or if you're serious about using hedge trimmers lol. I have enough trouble cutting through big twig things/ small branches sometimes.
lolwtf just cause you suck doesnt mean everyone else will.
A good pair of those hedge clippers can be so sharp it also doubles as a stabbing device straight into the eye/face. Could even dismantle it to have two sword like weapons
I also think that leaving the city to go sea side would be near impossible, i think everyone would have a similar idea and driving would be out of the question. To begin with I think you would have to lock everything down where you are. I have a scooter which may be useful to go some where on the road with out worry of traffic, the problem there though is that it is easy pickings for a zombie since there is no protection.
btw, would this ZA have zombie animals? rather not have my cat try to eat my leg anymore than it already does
So what do you do when the food runs out?
Get more food.
You could definitely survive for a while if you hit a store or dairy up and take all the canned goods. Fishing, hunting, and growing crops would have to be started pretty soon as well, in order to make sure that you are able to start surviving.
One of my mates said that he would hit a library up when it was safe enough so that he could get a bunch of books on hunting, fishing, growing different plants and stuff which I thought was a really good idea.
I have the Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z by Max Brooks if you wanna borrow that, Lenny
lol i already have them hahaha.
Quote from: WoundLenny on November 09, 2010, 11:58:43 AM
Get more food.
You could definitely survive for a while if you hit a store or dairy up and take all the canned goods. Fishing, hunting, and growing crops would have to be started pretty soon as well, in order to make sure that you are able to start surviving.
One of my mates said that he would hit a library up when it was safe enough so that he could get a bunch of books on hunting, fishing, growing different plants and stuff which I thought was a really good idea.
Growing crops? How would you tend crops with Zombies always hanging round. The malnutrition would make it a lot harder to fight the Zombies too. That and the fact you couldn't really get a good nights sleep.
It would make sense to just travel to a island. If Zombies don't see you leave they wouldn't know where to follow you and I'm sure the sea would destroy the zombies rotting bodies even if they did. Take some seeds with you and grow your crops there.
Might have to learn how to sail a boat though.
I guess it depends how big a crop you need to grow. Like for a few people, you can grow alot of food in a decent sized glasshouse, or maybe even fence a peice of land off so that zombies dont wander into it. The zombies are only really going to want to go near them if there are people there, so as long as you make it so they don't wander in by mistake, you should be okay.
Yah Island would be good I guess. Got any ideas which ones? Be hard to try and establish yourself in the already more established spots like Great Barrier and Waiheke I reckon.
Learn to love seaweed :)
Sea-turtles
So how do Zombies see? If they use their eyes can't you just target their eyes and then they will just wander around aimlessly. I guess to get close enough would be a problem as they would be pretty grabby. But whenever I see Zombies they don't seem to deflect anything. Maybe you could just get a really long poking stick like a pool cue or something?
I think having a supermarket (or similar food place) on lock down would be ideal. A supermarket generally has two entrances the main people entrance and the loading area for trucks. Hardest thing would be getting setup but once those two doors are boarded up and i mean with like a pallet of flour nothing would be getting in and you could eat yourself to death.
Also how long do zombies last are they eternal or do they eventually rot away to nothingness or like i said before do they have to feed to survive. If they are eternal then you would have to find a place to start your own community of self sufficiency preferably an island somewhere.
Bro they die if they don't eat. They end up feeding off each other and then themselves.
Like I said. We can get some food then go away on the boat. It will be fun. If we run ooutta food then we'll fish. they can't get up without a ladder. That'll buy us a bit of time till we figure out how to get it out far enough, then we'll just lower the anchor.
Don't go to a supermarket. We will get owned. They will find a way to get in. There's doors where they load stuff. Eeven if you 'block' all the entrances. It's just too dodgy. They don't need yes cos they can smell blood a mile away. They will all run outta food and smell us hiding away in a supermarket.
They might be stupid but when there's hundreds of thousands of hungry as fuck zombies outside then they will find a way in. You can count on that.
Nothing would get through of palets a wall like that
(http://files.propertypartners.ie/propertyfiles/34529/34529_05200826122304Fuel%20storeroom.JPG)
I think getting a boat would be real hard bro unless you know someone with one which has it in water already if its on a trailer your fucked as
Yo g. Think thousands of flesh eating super strong zombies bra. Hungry and enraged. Like zomby hulks.
They gonna tear through it bra.
They will smash glass, tear through butter ass looking wall, then tear through you and your gang.
Me and the boys we be on a boat.... a mutha fucking boat!!!!
len you and i are screwed first night of ZA we gona attract all the zombies with our night tunes so we are zombies the first night.
now we gotta come up with plans to turn the rest of NZism to zombies.
Haha, if I got bitten and knew I was gonna get turned into a Zombie I would do the following:
-Cut off my hands and replace them with buzzsaw blades
-Put on a full suit of armour
-Replace my shoes with awesome skates
-Put machine guns on my shoulders that shot stuff whenever I groaned in hunger
I would become the most baddest, shit kicking motherfucking zombie ever on earth, and my goal would be to eat your brains goddamnit!
Barnstorm:
Quote from: originaljulz on November 03, 2010, 09:08:20 PM
As for fortifying and where I'd go etc, I'd want to get to a nice rural wops place, since this NZ and low population to land mass is a really good thing. Alternatively, from working at Pak'N Save in Henderson, I've concluded it is a VERY good supermarket to fortify. Most supermarkets are bad, since they're designed with big glass windows designed to entice you in. But that PnS is built like a fucking fort. No windows, all access points are decent, and easily barricaded. On a few fire doors, which could be blocked with one stack of pallets and the two roller doors at the back are strong. Only weak spot is the front, and even then it's better than most supermarkets. If you know the store I'm talking about, you could fill the Lotto section with like, 3 pallets, and the exit door with 1 stack of pallets, and the front line of windows with a row of about 6 stacks of pallets. Front entrance fortified and sorted. Enough food in there to last you years. Zombie fort sorted. Also close to the hunting store in Henderson. Could loot some hunting rifles before you get in there.
When the ZA comes, you can enter my Pak'N Save fort.
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 10, 2010, 12:19:33 AM
Yo g. Think thousands of flesh eating super strong zombies bra. Hungry and enraged. Like zomby hulks.
They gonna tear through it bra.
They will smash glass, tear through butter ass looking wall, then tear through you and your gang.
Me and the boys we be on a boat.... a mutha fucking boat!!!!
lol, watch for me going hard with a paddle on a dingy in the middle of the tamaki estuary, out to sea maa fuckers, OUT TO SEA
I'm serious how do Zombies know where you are?
just before they eat me i'll bust out my V.A.T.S and shoot there head off.
Fight fire with fire I say... Unleash an army of Jiang Shis..
(http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs49/f/2009/196/6/d/Darkstalkers_Tribute_Hsien_Ko_by_xplixit.jpg)
That will fuck them up...or at least buy some time to get to a boat.
Quote from: [PF]CrazyMobius on November 10, 2010, 08:25:22 AM
I'm serious how do Zombies know where you are?
Sound and smell?
Their eyes prob decompose after a while.
In theory, all their senses shouldnt be working at all is what i think Simon is saying.
BUT in theory, Zombies shouldnt exist at all. So fuck your theory. The zombies know where you are.
Bro they can smell you. Like how i can smell weed a mile away they can smell human flesh.
Quote from: [NIUE] BIRRY WONG on November 10, 2010, 03:40:31 PM
In theory, all their senses shouldnt be working at all is what i think Simon is saying.
BUT in theory, Zombies shouldnt exist at all. So fuck your theory. The zombies know where you are.
Bullshit. Zombies are descendants of dolphins - niggas got sonar
bro, everyone tie seaturtles together and join team niue on PARTY(niue) ISLAND.
so isolated and it has no beaches for zombies to just walk outta the water onto.....straight cliffs and endless supply of coconuts and fish. zeah zeah boiz
bro the partys will be madd 8)
Jesus. If sawblade armoured skating machinegun zombie lenny gets sonar, then im fucking worried.
Quote from: [NIUE] BIRRY WONG on November 10, 2010, 06:11:28 PM
Jesus. If sawblade armoured skating machinegun zombie lenny gets sonar, then im fucking worried.
just need some marbles all rollskaters lose to marbles, its like rock, paper, scissor
sawblade armoured skating machinegun zombie lenny>humans>marbles>sawblade armoured skating machinegun zombie lenny
Dude have you seen how fat I am? I'll just crush those marbles under my wheels of steel.
Prolly get some rollerblades instead of roller skates come to think of it... Roller blades are heaps cooler.
Guys Im not even kidding. Heres an artists impression.
(http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q192/SuPeRwILLyMaN/zombielen.png)
This artist even assumed he has a superhero-like insignia on his chest, beause realistically, he probably has superpowers too. Not only that, Zombie Lenny can skate across the ground on FUCKING ICE SKATES and then slice your stomach open and feed on your entrails.
WE ARE FUCKED.
you will not be able to crush my collection of steelies i have especially put away for the zombie apocalypse
Thats a pretty accurate sketch, but you need too add a couple of feet of length to the penis, and about half as much girth.
I dont think i do. I figure the zombie that turned you ate your body, So you actually just cut your own penis into 5 segments and are now using the smaller 4 as your limbs, and the main portion as your body.
That shit is manly.
I love this thread :D
I'm just gonna climb a tree with a 2 super six packs of diezal and watch zombie lenny fuck all you's up haha.
so basically, in the event of a ZA we have to prevent lenny from becoming a zombie otherwise we're all fucked.
godammit.
If we kill lenny first and eat him, then according to science, we will gain his powers and should stand a better chance against the zombie horde.
dibs on his heart.
i'll eat it and increase my max number of hearts :D
Fuck... I wanted the heart :(
Guess I'll stick with the Sonar Glands
*wipees crumbs off face after consuming lenny's entire body*
Sorry , what were you guys saying?
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 10, 2010, 10:16:40 PM
*wipees semen off face after consuming lenny's dick*
Sorry , what were you guys saying?
Quote from: samurai black on November 10, 2010, 09:19:06 PM
dibs on his dick.
i'll eat it and increase my chances of growing one :D
I think you'll need to eat more dicks then just Lens bro.
:O
i have been defeated
If zombies have only the most primitive motivation. (ie. eating) Theoretically wouldn't they also have the instinct to procreate? Even though they couldn't, because theyre dead, since they were originally the instinct should be there. Surely then, we can deduce that zombies are also crazy pack-rapists?
Honestly. Zombie Lenny has got me pretty fucking shit-scared of this.
Anybody playing CoD: Black Ops zombies?
Once they get their shit together, and get the whole inviting and playing in a party thing working, I'm keen to get some zombie slaying done with y'all.
im more interested in the zombie dlc for RDR
Quote from: originaljulz on November 11, 2010, 01:53:58 AM
Anybody playing CoD: Black Ops zombies?
Once they get their shit together, and get the whole inviting and playing in a party thing working, I'm keen to get some zombie slaying done with y'all.
Bro i love zombie mode i spent way too long on that in WaW
And if tank lenny is now a real issue i would head into the chemistry labs and start fucking him up with science, or better yet find a huge electromagnet to stick his ass to after he armours up then i could keep him as a pet
Quote from: Barnstorm on November 11, 2010, 11:38:03 AM
Bro i love zombie mode i spent way too long on that in WaW
And if tank lenny is now a real issue i would head into the chemistry labs and start fucking him up with science, or better yet find a huge electromagnet to stick his ass to after he armours up then i could keep him as a pet
You know how there's a mission at the end of the campaign? Like the Mile High Club for CoD4, and the Museum for MW2? They have the best one so far for CoD:BO. You get to be JFK killing zombies. Awesome.
What if pre ZA Lenny gets a degree in science, and manages to out-science you in undeath?
Also i'm pretty sure sonar can detect half-assed plans, so youre pretty much gonna be the first victim of ZL, Barnstorm.
Quote from: [NIUE] BIRRY WONG on November 11, 2010, 02:12:04 PMAlso i'm pretty sure sonar can detect half-assed plans
Q... F... T.
I think capcom needs to nerf ZA Lenny he sounds to broken.
Quote from: [NIUE] BIRRY WONG on November 11, 2010, 02:12:04 PM
What if pre ZA Lenny gets a degree in science, and manages to out-science you in undeath?
Also i'm pretty sure sonar can detect half-assed plans, so youre pretty much gonna be the first victim of ZL, Barnstorm.
This plan is by no means half assed. I just didnt want to bore people with the details. First thing i would get is some oxidising agents and rust the fuck out of that armour and the launchers. I would also grab some sodium ,lithium and/or potassium to start a nice little explosive ball of fire which could be started with water bombs. Lastly i would make sure to take a couple of bottles of sodium hydroxide and sufuric acid burn through any remaining limbs and face/teeth so he would be like a de-fanged snake/spider
just like those snakes/spider shit looks scary but with out teeth he would struggle to gum you to death
Quote from: Barnstorm on November 11, 2010, 02:57:04 PM
This plan is by no means half assed. I just didnt want to bore people with the details. First thing i would get is some oxidising agents and rust the fuck out of that armour and the launchers. I would also grab some sodium ,lithium and/or potassium to start a nice little explosive ball of fire which could be started with water bombs. Lastly i would make sure to take a couple of bottles of sodium hydroxide and sufuric acid burn through any remaining limbs and face/teeth so he would be like a de-fanged snake/spider
just like those snakes/spider shit looks scary but with out teeth he would struggle to gum you to death
Youre right. Thats more 1/3 assed. Possibly closer to 2/5. The fact that ZL has superpowers pretty much trumps your whole plan. That and the fact that he can shoot off your arms and legs long before you get a chance to even look in his direction. By the time hes done skating over your lifeless husk, he should have enough time to laugh at your ill-concieved anti Lenny attempt before he proceeds to hunt down the rest of us and our loved ones.
Oh well, the 0.3 seconds it takes zombie lenny to split you like a rocco victim can be used to further distance ourselves from him, and prolong our own demise.
NAH BRO NAH BRO FORCEFIELD
NAH FUCK THAT ARMOUR LOCK
shee-it...sorry I'm late...
Zombies love dancing yo...so ya'll best get yo copies of Thriller by MJ if you wanna stand a chance against the ZA!
...they also like Stranger in Moscow...
Katana is a must... I got mine about a 3 years ago!...coming up to 4 years... http://www.superiorswords.co.nz/
Yo lenny...I think you need to update the 1st post with the agreed appliances/requirements by everyone to survive...you know...in catergories..
e.g. Weapons, Clothing...sections.
Quote from: B BOY DRAW2 on November 11, 2010, 03:45:51 PM
Zombies love dancing yo...so ya'll best get yo copies of Thriller by MJ if you wanna stand a chance against the ZA!
...they also like Stranger in Moscow...
Holy shit guys. This might be our only chance.
I'm going to mm Richard's mum the whole time so she smashes all the zombies if they try to interrupt.
Dont bring Richards mum into this smoof. It wrecks the fun having something that can both instantly wipe out the zombies, OR, if she chooses, the living. Or both.
fuck i hate you two.
anyway, no one answered my question about zombie animals :/
Quote from: samurai black on November 11, 2010, 06:47:38 PM
fuck i hate you two.
anyway, no one answered my question about zombie animals :/
no Richard, it's still wrong to fuck dead animals, even if they're moving around.
you really need to see someone about that aye ;)
Saw this zombie quiz on /x/.
Straight copy pasta from there. Obviously answers aren't mine. Nice collection of questions.
Zombie quiz time.
1) What's your plan?
Go to the Rockies. Following rivers is a safe idea, fresh water, meeting place for potential food. Fairly habitable environment and contains many natural defense elements such as high cliffs, trees, and If the terrain dosnt impede wandering zombies, the weather will.
2) What's your backup plan when your first plan [of course] fails?
Continue North along waterways or move farther west to the possibly the Sierra Nevada, avoiding Utah and Nevada as much as possible. Possibly through Yellowstone or stopping in Yellowstone.
3) Who's your zombie killing partner(s)?
I would rely mostly on time and weather conditions and other natural factors. Ideally I would like to have a Shaolin Monk, Army Ranger, Green Beret, but seeing as that it is highly unlikely, another person who has as much or more survival skills, stamina, motivation and physical capabilities than I do.
4) What kind of zombies are you expecting? Classic or "Hollywood" style?
If anything i would expect virus-zombies.
5) Since most zombie shit starts from viruses, are you a carrier, immune, or just lucky to not be infected yet?
Its not luck, its being smart and knowing what to do when the shit hits the fan.
6) What's your zombie-killing weapon of choice?
Kukri. Lots of Kukri. either that or a portable army shovel, at least 4 of them. Both purely for their multi-functional uses. Yes, a gun can take a head off at up to a mile away depending on the shooter, but guns are heavy, buky, and have limited number of shots.
7) And, of course...Themesong?
Music would become more of a distraction than a relaxer. Anything I could pick up on a radio signal in the mountains. But If I had to choose it would be "Major Tom" by Shiny Toy Gun because It is relaxing and tells me to accept my fate.
WTF is 'virus-zombies'?. And Classic or Hollywood? I just know quick ones. And ones that can't run for shit and are easy to fuck up.
Those kukri blades are badd as fuck. I don't where he'd get one from though? Not really convenient unless he's a fucking green beret or something.
And why the fuck is he running around in the forest for? That's fucking stupid mane. Retarded hill billy's can fuck you up in the forest, and zombies.
Best place is just off the shore or go find a island somewhere till they all die.
Hey Lenny you know a game is in the works called "Zombie Apocalypse" right? I saw it in EGM or Gamepro or something.
Also I just found out if Zombie's bite you you turn into a Zombie. WTF? That's pretty hard to beat them with that stipulation. My prediction is most people will want to get bitten just so they can follow what everyone else is doing. -_-
I think that after they bite you, they'll eat you.
Do you guys reckon a weed eater could chop through zombies haha
Quote from: [NIUE]iRONSoL on November 18, 2010, 03:53:28 PM
I think that after they bite you, they'll eat you.
Do you guys reckon a weed eater could chop through zombies haha
Isn't a weed eater like, just a little rubber stick that spins around really fast?
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 18, 2010, 02:21:45 PM
WTF is 'virus-zombies'?. And Classic or Hollywood? I just know quick ones. And ones that can't run for shit and are easy to fuck up.
I think virus zombies are like, 'quick' aka 'British zombies.' Ala 28 Days later, where they're really just 'infected,' not zombies in the sense that they're reanimated dead. Classic prob means voodoo, and Hollywood is prob the Romero type shamblin shufflin type?
Anyone agree?
Quote from: originaljulz on November 18, 2010, 11:29:40 PM
Isn't a weed eater like, just a little rubber stick that spins around really fast?
One of my mates uncles cut off 2 of his fingers with a weed eater on a dare. ("I dare you to put your hand in a weed eater" not "I dare you to cut off your fingers", either way, dude was drunk, and is apparently pretty dumb) Weed eaters are pretty ruthless.
So you could... cut off all the zombies fingers so they couldn't grab you? :D
Im just saying, you could fuck some shit up if your weed eater skills were pro.
Nobody has discussed ropes. Why not just get a really long rope and run around the zombies ? They are so slow and stupid to be able to get out. Nets also.
Ropes and nets. Seriously.
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 18, 2010, 02:21:45 PM
Best place is just off the shore or go find a island somewhere till they all die.
ummmm...
Quote from: [PF]CrazyMobius on November 19, 2010, 08:53:29 AM
ummmm...
Yer i see.........
They must run outta food and start killling of each other.
december 2nd , nat geo channel
the truth about zombies
Uhhhhh, I'd just kill myself. Problem solved for me. I couldn't bare to kill and or slaughter people, dead or alive. It's got to weigh heavy on anyones conscious regardless of how much of a macho man you think you are. It would be the least I could do for myself, no matter how cowardice it may seem.
This and continuing to live like that would bare no enjoyment for me. Maybe it would be a different story 30 or 50 years past when people are being born in to such a horrible world that it would be acceptable.
Regardless, for all we know, if this obscure event was ever to occur in our life time. How can anyone be sure that said zombies will shamble, sprint and groan? It could be much less or much more. For example, maybe the zombie's give off a scent that we can't see with the eye? But breathed in affects us the same way a bite would.
So no, Zombie Apocalypse, not for me. When you think outside the fiction, it's horrifying.
----
BUT... Just for fun, if I had to pick a weapon, I'd just lug around the air compressor, a bag of glass and a module on the end of the compressor pipe to spray glass at said zombies.
AND ALSO... I have a boat, a fucking huge one. And I live in the wop wops with four houses on my street, and a boat ramp down the road. I also have a fucking vegetable garden and two cows in the paddock ready for killin', I'd say I have more time to prepare myself and my boat and still have time to pull the fingers as I masturbate off into the sunset on my cowfilled, vegetable packed huge boat.
WHAT!
LOL the guy with the easiest way too survive is going to kill himself bhaahahahah. FAIL.
Quote from: [NYC] weazzyefff on November 20, 2010, 08:59:04 AM
LOL the guy with the easiest way too survive is going to kill himself bhaahahahah. FAIL.
Obvious lie is obvious. :D
Quote from: Squares on November 19, 2010, 01:40:35 PM
I couldn't bare to kill and or slaughter people, dead or alive.
You don't have to if you adopt the "ropes method."
The staircase down to Yifan's would be a funny choke point for the zombies. They would just fall and most likely crack a skull or something on the way down.
Quote from: Squares on November 19, 2010, 01:40:35 PM
I have a boat, a fucking huge one. And I live in the wop wops with four houses on my street, and a boat ramp down the road. I also have a fucking vegetable garden and two cows in the paddock ready for killin', I'd say I have more time to prepare myself and my boat and still have time to pull the fingers as I masturbate off into the sunset on my cowfilled, vegetable packed huge boat.
Squares has almost risen to BIRRY WONG levels of awesomeness with this post. Fucking A.
Nigga I told you kungs Squares is my boy
Quote from: Squares on November 22, 2010, 12:05:01 PM
The staircase down to Yifan's would be a funny choke point for the zombies. They would just fall and most likely crack a skull or something on the way down.
There wouldn't be a point going to yifans anyway. There would be no power.
could just dig a big hole and let the zombies fall in.
or have like a moat and drawbridge :o :o :o
Bro just cover yourself in coleslaw. Zombies gonna be like XXL coleslaw? Aww helllll nawww
yeah, but will the explosive cancer the coleslaw produces be worth the zombie immunity?
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs971.snc4/76425_1436011791427_1566952105_30929909_2934787_n.jpg
this guy is better at it than you.
That movie Zombieland was pretty good. That guy had some pretty good rules. I especially like the double tap one. Also that bitch in dat movie would get a hyper tapped by the weazal.
Also Bill Murray had a good plan aswell.