The Zombie Apocalypse Thread

[Lennysaurus]

Okay people.  This is a game my friends and I have been playing for years.  At any given time or place, one of us will say "Zombie Apocalypse right here, right now!"  and we proceed to kill the next hour talking about how we would handle an onslaught of Zombies at our present venue.

Over the years we have developed what we think are important things to consider in the event of Zombie Apocalypse in New Zealand, so I thought I would start a thread to talk about it here.

A friend of mine and I have even considered starting a blog about it, cause we have literally thought about it alot.

An interesting debate we have is around weapons.  Traditional zombie folklore tells us that to stop a zombie you need to destroy the brain.  Obviously guns are pretty hard to come by here in NZ so we are restricted to what we can get out and about.

I think a great combo is softball bat, machete, and Kindling axe.  Pretty easy to carry around with you and not weighing much.  Require little to no training how to use, and pretty easy to get your hands on.

Couple of my friends however think that a sword would be the best bet as they feel that a softball bat will not destroy the brain, and that the sword offers better range, and the ability to lop off limbs.  I disagree and think that they underestimate the amount of skill that it takes to weild a weapon like that effectively.  I also that that you run the risk of getting a sword stuck in a zombies head/neck/guts thuis rendering you unarmed.  Also, where the fuck do you get a sword from?  People don't leave them lying around the fucking house.  Especially a decent one as opposed to a shitty knock off you got from Vic Park markets.

Discuss!

[samurai black]

yeah, i like the machete instead of a sword. any cheapo sword you can get ahold of now prob only for display. softball bat imo is a solid pick, but you reckon wooden or aluminium?

i might go the leon kennedy route, armed with only a knife, gun and 10 bullets hahaha. when the zombie gets close i can just knife it a few times then SUPLEX like a fucking boss

[Lennysaurus]

I don't think that it matters what sort of softball bat it is too much TBH.  Another important item is a freaking sharpening stone.  To sharpen your Axe/machete/sword/etc.

I think the other advantage of a machete is that you cant use it for shitloads of other stuff.  cutting brush, and even chopping wood.

Anyone considered clothing?  I personally think that a good pair of jeans, and a decent pair of boots are essential.  If you can get some army style boots even better.  One thing I would do is sew something to the bottom of my jeans so that they tuck into the top of my boot, and can't be pulled out unless I take my shoe off.  This helps with the cliche zombie movie scenario where someone is leaning next to a car, or is near a bush and  a zombie that is crawling along the ground bites their ankle.  Its pretty hard to bite through leather boots or denim jeans.  Hell if you can get leather pants even better I reckon.  Decent once again leather/denim jacket and a hat.

Another useful addition would be a face mask.  Something that a panelbeater or spray painter wears that you can get several of pretty easily and just pop them on when entering combat.  Splash of zombie blood in the mouth could = GGPO for you.

[moose!]

I live in a zombie safe apparement which can also be barricaded at a number of points, with a large open roof which could be used to collect rain water.
4 Square not too far away, could hopefully get to it across awnings and break in for food and pepsi/beer.

Haven't got the weapons sussed as of yet... I have heaps of records but Shawn of the Dead proved this as totally ineffective.
Maybe table legs as baseball bats/makeshift axes? Though  the thin corridors in my building wouldn't allow me to swing, perhaps I need a long spear device instead.

[budafist]

Fucking sweet as game Lenny. cant wait to bust it out in weird situations

I would try and go for stripped down riot police gear if possible. They had a pretty sweet getup at the army surplus store on krd.
but generally I would just like my forearms,shins and head covered, so you're still quite mobile

A big factor is what kind of zombies they are, if its the 28 days later kind: Fuck that, I'd drown myself in my bath.
If its the slow mushy retarted kind: all good I'm down for it.

Very good point about the availability of weapons, most people start planning with Katanas and dual barettas, but we really dont have that shit.
I reckon 2 aluminium baseball bats and a fuckoff machette on the back would work well.
Maybe a sledgehammer, but its a bit slow.

maybe even go Dead rising 2 and make some fusion weapons

[samurai black]

Hell if you can get leather pants even better I reckon.

gotta look good when the zombie apocalypse happens

[Lennysaurus]

Could be interesting.  But how long would you be able to barricade yourself in for?  Eventually you'd have to make a run for it and get out of the city.

Living in an apartment makes it tough, since you dont have access to the regular gardening equipment/etc that most houses do.  I like the idea of using chair legs as makeshift bludgeoning items. 

I think one advantage we have in New Zealand is how close we all are to the ocean.  I would definitely be thinking about settling down somewhere coastal, with an emergency boat ready to go at all times.

So where would you guys go?  Would you go Bush?  Would you find a house and get your squat on?  One thing we discussed is that we would likely go to at least a rural area and find a 2 story house.  We would prep it up by basically moving everything into the upstairs portion of the house, and tear apart any stairs that lead to the second floor.  Only access to it would be via ladders that we could pull back up the top if need be.  I think though that it would be important to get away from any major citys or towns.

[fluxcore]

I'd take it like a man.

[Lennysaurus]

Also regarding my last post, I dont think it is a good idea to stay in one place for any amount of extended time, and that you should ALWAYS have several escape options ready to go.  Having a horde of thousands of Zombies encircling your little abode caould suck major nuts, so keep moving so they don't find you imo.

Yah Army surplus stores and gun stores would probably be great places to get to, if you can get in there early before the other looters beat you too it.  Unfortunately they tend to be in highly populated areas so there is risk involved.

Yah I definitely think that the different types of zombies would make a difference.  I think you would get far smaller groups of the mobile kind, but youd be likely to run into fucking gigantic groups of the slow kind.  I don't think that they would be super slow though.  I reckon they'd hum along at a regular walking pace.  And cause they don't zip around at full sprint all the time that they would tend to clump together.

[samurai black]

actually, i think i like a cricket bat more than a softball bat. larger striking face and a blunt edge to for funsies

[stereomonkey]

Weapon would be a katana/machete. Katana would be the preference but doubt you would be able to find them and also a sharping tool to keep it nice for slicing.

A thick leather Jacket and jeans with leather chaps would be what I would wear.  Leather being good for protection against bites, but wont weight you down like other clothing choices most would select.  Maybe a MC helmet for head protection but that would get annoying and tiresome to have it on while walking around.  Good pair of steal cap hiking boots would be great too.

Carry a satchel or gym bag around at all times, never know what you could find that would help you later on.

Hope someone finds a sword in walking dead

[Lennysaurus]

Some Awesome Zombie Movie Cliche situations to avoid:

"Let's split up, we'll cover more ground that way"
Aw hell no.  Why do you need to cover ground faster to get out of there?  Got an appointment you might miss in the middle of ZA?  I think not.  Also, the chance of being eaten and killed far outweighs the need for supplies imo.  Strength in numbers at all times I reckon.

"I think we can trust them.  Let's tag along with that group"
Don't trust anyone.  I think most people don't realise that when ZA happens, every man, woman, and child will have been exposed to alot of death.  This is gonna change people no matter what.  And in an environment where people are surviving to protect in many cases the few loved ones they have left in the world, people will do crazy shit.  Don't hang around people that you don't know, or that someone you are rolling with can't vouch for.  Other awesome stuff that falls into this category include "We can't just leave them there, we have to help them!" and "But look, they seem to have plenty.  I'm sure they could spare us something".  Futher to this.  I think that any more than 6 people in a group is too much.  Anymore than that and you run into the problems of finding enough food and water, and unnecesary power struggles.  However in that vain, you want to have at least 4 people.  3 People standing back to back can keep watch in a 360 degree radius while the last member gathers or completes tasks, and 4 people provide the optimum rotation to ensure that people get enough sleep at night while 1 keeps watch.

"We need food!!! I haven't eaten in 2 days!!!"
Alot of people don't realise this, but your average healthy human being can survive without food for 3 to 4 weeks, and maybe half that in rugged survival situations.  People that don't know this are likely to do a couple of things:
-Take unnecessary risks in order to obtain food
-Over ration what food is available to them. 
It is important to consider what sort of ideal food you want to be eating as well.  Carb loading and some sugar at first till you get where you need to go.  Once you can establish a safe time/area to forage then you can worry about your complex dietary requirements.  In all honesty if ZA hits, your priorities should be in this order:  Weapons, Water, People, Transport, Shelter, and then Food.

"Hold up dude, I just gotta duck behind that car to take a piss"
Get used to pissing and shitting in full view of your group.  Zombies love hiding in bushes, under cars, and in all sorts of other great spots out of view of your travelling companions.  I don't mind dudes seeing my wang while I pave a liquid yellow brick road in the dirt if it means having them make sure I don't end up Zombie Chow.  Also fitting under this category is sneaking off with your partner for private relations.  Put a show on for the boys, or don't bother at all imo.

"We can totally all fit in my van!!!"
This is one that always gets me.  Imagine absolute chaos in every city and town of NZ as rabid zombies run about munching on people.  Everyone and their mother jumps in a car and starts careering down the motorway/highway trying to get away from the zombies.  Unfortunately mass panic and motor vehicles are gonna result in pretty clogged up roads.  Unless you have access to some sort of decent four wheel drive (and no I do not mean your mum and dad's poxy Land Rover or Rav4) or off road bike, the I would stay completely away from vehicles.  Roads are too close to well populated areas anyway.  Mountain bikes are a great alternative.  In New Zealand your best bet is to get to the ocean, and use any sort of boat you can get your hands on to travel up and down the coastline if you need to get places.  Aluminum dinghys are your friend.  They can be maneuvered all the way into a beach and dragged up onto the shore and pushed back into the water if need be in a hurry.  Get one with a little outboard on it and you are set.  Also useful to drag onto the shore and tip over to create a makeshift shelter as well.

Also, don't think that you can plow through zombies with wanton abandon in your Mazda 323.  There is a reason why we don't fly over speed bumps at 80kmh, so just think of plowing into a horde of zombies at that speed as driving over a ton of speed bumps at the same spped.  You'll crash, and if that didn't kill you, the zombies probably will.

I have way more, but can't be stuffed typing them all out.  I seriously give this shit way too much thought.

[fluxcore]

True that!

[originaljulz]

Holy shit thread of my dreams. Also, you can never think too much about this Lenny. The Zombie Apocalypse is coming. It's INEVITABLE.

But yeah me and my friends play this game too. Though admittedly I do this kinda shit a lot more than them. I always scan my surroundings for escape routes and possible weapons constantly, wherever I am lol. I'm not even kidding. I might actually be crazy.

But anyway, on the subject of baseball bats. They're heavy, and smashing a brain through blunt force trauma means you'll get tired quickly, and you won't always kill it in one blow. Remember; yes a zombie is dead and rotting and all that shit, but it's still a human body, and the human head is stronger than you'd think. Aluminium bats are weak as hell. They're k for hitting baseballs, but after 2 hits to a human head, and that shits getting dented beyond recognition. Eventually it'll break on you. Wood is better, but not by much. I personally say that a katana is the best zombie killing weapon. It wasn't designed for cutting through armour and what not like anglo broadswords etc, instead designed to be the 'perfect weapon' for dealing damage and slicing through the human body with ease. Like you've said though, where the fuck would you get a proper traditional katana in New Zealand, and this is of course ignoring the fact that a sword does take training to wield properly.

The next best weapon, and prob the best 'everyman' weapon is def the machete. Bladed weapon over blunt any day for the decap. Head poses a threat still, but you can dispose of that easily, or ignore depending on the situation. You'll prob try to be on the move anyway, and not staying in one spot, fighting off a horde of zombies.

As for clothes. Lets assume that zombies will be the traditional shuffler type zombie. It's kinda more realistic than the 28 days 'British running zombie.'

Armour and heavy clothes will just weigh you down and get you tired. You'll always be wanting to be on the move. Light, tight clothes which are difficult to get a grip on. No straps and unnecessary pockets etc that you could be grappled with.

God I could go on and on.


As for fortifying and where I'd go etc, I'd want to get to a nice rural wops place, since this NZ and low population to land mass is a really good thing. Alternatively, from working at Pak'N Save in Henderson, I've concluded it is a VERY good supermarket to fortify. Most supermarkets are bad, since they're designed with big glass windows designed to entice you in. But that PnS is built like a fucking fort. No windows, all access points are decent, and easily barricaded. On a few fire doors, which could be blocked with one stack of pallets and the two roller doors at the back are strong. Only weak spot is the front, and even then it's better than most supermarkets. If you know the store I'm talking about, you could fill the Lotto section with like, 3 pallets, and the exit door with 1 stack of pallets, and the front line of windows with a row of about 6 stacks of pallets. Front entrance fortified and sorted. Enough food in there to last you years. Zombie fort sorted. Also close to the hunting store in Henderson. Could loot some hunting rifles before you get in there.

[Lennysaurus]

Honestly, I think going for the decap is not the way to go.  Youd have a better chance of smashing a zombies skull in with a bat than loping its head off.  If you dont get a clean decap on the zombie you can pretty much kiss your machete goodbye as it'll be stuck in the zombies neck/shoulder.

Also you have to consider that if a zombie is coming for you it'll have its hands up to reach out for you, which in some cases is a natural guard against trying to lop its head off as well.  A good 2 handed overhand trike with the bat will certainly smash brains imo, provided you are aiming for the front-top part of the head, if you are slightly off, at least you don't run the risk of losing the bat.

The one handed kindling axe is great though, nice and close and bam!  Stick it right into the zombies head, peircing the skull and hitting the brain.  It is likely that you'll lose the axe if you don't have time to wrench it back out, but in a tight spot could be really useful.  Other similar weapons for this I guess are hammers, and crowbars.